I’ll be honest. I don’t know how to start this blog. I want it to be crisp and golden out of the bag, but then I’m afraid to ruin it with phrases like “crisp and golden out of the bag.” I got laid off today. It’s not new. It’s happened to me once or twice. It’s kind of an old hat at this point. Never … Continue reading The Old Year
This is my ninth attempt at a blog post in the past two weeks. I keep starting again from scratch because I’m of the mindset that everything I do is shit. Thanks, *insert authority figure*! Really, I’m just lazy. Probably. I find it very difficult to self-motivate during my unemployment. When I have a job, I have a purpose. Get up. Go do the thing … Continue reading Self-motivation!!!
Wednesday night, I had a killer set at The Surly Girl Saloon and then subsequently was afflicted with a sickness that made me ask the question, “Is success worth the dropping of the other shoe?” It is, for the record. Mild as that success may be. And in terms of cause/effect, a quick survey of some friends seems to indicate, the success was immaterial. The … Continue reading Fuck if I know.
What is it, Friday? Time to write a new blog. What? Shit! Saturday?… I’m bad at keeping a schedule. Well, today is March fourteenth. My birthday was Tuesday, and Captain Ladyface surprised me by inviting about 70% of everyone I’ve ever high-fived to The Shrunken Head for karaoke. She was able to finagle a drink special that really allowed me to indulge my narcissism. I … Continue reading Another Year Older
I’m just going to start typing up a rough blog post draft right now. As usual, I have no idea what to write about. This is a habit I need to get back into. Time lapses are killers, man. I’ve been a lot busier over the last couple of months than I’ve been in years. That’s not a complaint at all. I’m extremely happy to … Continue reading Title entered here.
The sketch group I joined recently, Alpaca Lips comedy has a live sketch show at Strange Loop Records every other month. We are really working on getting to the bottom of how comedy works. On the other months, there is a stand up comedy showcase show that I attended last night as an audience member and I have to say that place is amazing. It’s … Continue reading Back For The Future
Welp. I wrote something for you: The problem with being a smart person is that the only thing you trust is your brain. Hah. “Smart person” is a that you call yourself when you are too ignorant to know that you’re not smart, you will likely argue. Of course I don’t think I’m a smart person. But for some reason I’ve grown up being called … Continue reading Sandpaper
This has been one hell of a year so far. And it isn’t even over. Robin Williams killed himself and Bill Cosby has been revealed to be a notorious rapist. Typing that sentence was incredibly difficult for me as a jester-by-trade, a human being and a fan of the movie “Jack” On top of all that, I lost my grandfather on Halloween. Forever depleting the … Continue reading The Quiet Nobility of Trolls
The standards for being successful are horseshit. Bottom line. Who says you have to be 25, graduated from college, married, maybe a spawn or 2 on the way, a new car and purchasing your first home. It’s crazy. Between the mountain of student loans and the impossibility of actually meeting someone worth spending your life with at 25 it’s insane to think these things mean … Continue reading Success comes in all flavors
Potty training. Two words most parents fear. I didn’t think I’d be so scared. But after finding poop and pee all over, the fear is real. I hear stories of two year olds training themselves. No problems. No mess. They just wake up one day and decided to not piss themselves. Lies. Fairytales. As I sit here trying to bribe my son with m&m’s I … Continue reading The toy box is not a toilet