Fuck if I know.

Wednesday night, I had a killer set at The Surly Girl Saloon and then subsequently was afflicted with a sickness that made me ask the question,

“Is success worth the dropping of the other shoe?”
Charlie Sheen Reuters 660

It is, for the record. Mild as that success may be. And in terms of cause/effect, a quick survey of some friends seems to indicate, the success was immaterial. The virus was not selected karmically.

But the small victory I experienced in those five minutes of stage time Wednesday was, in my mind worthy of Universal comeuppance.

The gathering of my peers around me, eager to shake my hand and tell me how much they enjoyed my set… Whether or not it had anything to do with the sickness that befell me in the following hours, is what got me through it.

I get it. It’s not like I just survived The Oregon Trail with only a walking case of dysentery. Really I just threw up a few times, laid comfortably in my bed and ate Arby’s while affirming my previous analysis of the “Mad Men” pilot (not for me), but when you survive cold and flu season without debilitating sniffles, a stomach bug will hit your psyche pretty hard.

Just like Mama used to make!

I lived. I survived. I only missed a day and a half of work.

In that time, I was able to watch The premiere of Community: Season six. But only, like, four times per episode. That show continues to blow me away. Every single line is so carefully constructed and flawlessly performed that it’s equally inspiring and maddening.

A large part of me sees the scene in the courtyard with Abed and Frankie and just wants to throw down my super NES controller and rage-quit like I can’t get past that last octopus on the first water level of Donkey Kong Country when I’m seven.

Where the fuck did you come from???

What’s the point of trying when you’ll never be THAT good?

And that’s when I realize… It’s because of Trailblazers like Dan Harmon, Tina Fey, Mitch Hurwitz, Lorne Michaels, Carl Reiner, Norman Lear that there IS a reason to try. All of these people saw something that wasn’t being done, and they just made it happen. They didn’t allow their visions to be watered down, or to fit into some kind of a box. No!


They knew how they wanted to do things. And they did those things… To allow yourself to be defeated just because someone else is freaking your mind is ridiculous. You’re capable of mind-freakage too, man! Maybe not yet… But when you look to Digital media the way Dan Harmon looked to Yahoo for the continuation of his series, you realize that it’s the wide open west. Every day you hear about a new cable network, streaming service or restaurant that has decided to try their hand at original programming.

There are opportunities everywhere. The least you could do for yourself is to seize them, and work your ass off to make them count. Not for fame or fortune. But just to really put your heart into something and make it really good. Really fucking good… Hopefully.

That leads me to this. One of the coolest, most nerve-wracking, earth-shaking, ball-shriveling weeks of my life. There are now, (at the time of this writing) three days until the first (that’s optimistic) LIVE episode of the Squeezecast. A pleasure I didn’t know for sure would be mine until about three days ago. But does that mean it’s going to suck?

To put it simply… No.

It’s a show I’m putting on, in congruence with my sketch group, Alpaca Lips Comedy. A group of some of the most talented people I’ve ever had the good fortune to work with. The type of people that you can rely on to fill spaces when they need filled.

With music and other shit by even more talented people I know. In a venue that I’ve had incredible luck with in recent months. This is a chance to advance. To expand my acquisition of entertainment opportunities and try my damnedest to do it well.


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